This is the true story of the War Of The Rings as told through the Eye of His Arseholiness, Lord Saw-ron. The version recorded by Dildo the Habbit is as truthful as a George Dubberyar Bush policy speech.
A lovingly constructed parody
Une parodé de grosse humiliatiôn
Three rings for presidential candidates under the microscope
Seven for the politicians in their towers of ivory
Nine for the Generals doomed to kill
One for the Stark Lord on his dark throne
In the land of Washington where the politicians lie
One Ring to confuse them all, One Ring to bribe them
One Ring to bring them all, and in the 'Coalition Of The Willing' bind them
In the land of Washington where the politicians lie.
"So, those poor sillies think me destroyed. If only they knew that I silently wait here, cunningly disguised as a Harvard Law Professor, for the time to arrive when I can have my revenge on the Turd Age of Piddle Earth.
I went so close last time. Do I hear you say bullshit? Ah, you have been reading the account of events as written by that damnable Dildo Buggers, the fat little Habbit poof from The Municipality. Well, I had my own intelligence gatherers, secret police, Orcward technicians, and historians out there and here is the one true record of events".
So spake Lord Saw-ron, who is badder than Leroy Brown and much better looking.
Copyright © 2004 Brian Brett. All rights reserved. Any reference to material copyrighted by J.R.R. Tolkien, his heirs and successors, is for purposes of parody and satire only. So there!
